How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
