I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
