I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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