How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I think your dad took our porno
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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