Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
