I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
