Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
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