i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
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