she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
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