I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
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