So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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