All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
