Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
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