thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
