i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
