he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
We had to coat check the pizza.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
