I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Randomize