i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Randomize
