everyone is single if you try hard enough
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
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