i need an iv and a liver transplant
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
