All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
You pole danced in your parka.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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