Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Randomize
