Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
and i looked up. we had an audience...
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
you never un-have a 4some
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Randomize
