i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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