so that wasnt chicken after all
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
