Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Randomize
