she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
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