He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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