Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize
