I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Randomize
