I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
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