I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
