You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
