It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
