Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
