so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
