Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
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He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
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I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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