If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Randomize