well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
