yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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