i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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