My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
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