So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
