i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
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