I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
