Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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