now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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