i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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