just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
How's work?
Spinning.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Randomize
