She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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