Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Cover your peen. We're going out.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
