I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Alive.
So much puke
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
