Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
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