i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize