I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
